Breakthroughs in Coaching
As a coach, I tend to attract high-achievers: people who rely on intellect, executive functioning, and analytical ability to make decisions. So, when someone comes to me in the middle of a burnout or career crisis and confides that they feel paralyzed or anxious, or they can't stop snapping at their kids, one of the first questions I ask is, "And where do you feel that in your body."
This is a difficult question for most people to answer as most of us have “unlearned” how to listen to our bodies. We take a “mind over matter” approach to difficult situations and ignore tension, discomfort, and pain. Unfortunately, physical symptoms don’t just disappear because you decide not to feel them. I learned this lesson the hard way.
I've written extensively about my burnout and how somatics helped me find my way back to balance after a prolonged depression and debilitating back injury. I, too, was a high-achieving, action-oriented thinker. And for a long time, I stopped listening to my body.
Throughout my healing journey and by using somatic practices with clients, I've learned that when we tune into our bodily-based experiences and stop trying to think our way out of problems, the anxiety subsides. The path forward becomes clear.
Escaping the Fear Feedback Loop
I recently used somatics practices with a client who was in the middle of a messy custody battle. She hadn’t come to me for help with this situation but the conflict brought difficult emotions to the surface for her; I know we had to work through them in order to move forward in our regular coaching process.
As the court date drew closer, she started to worry that she might lose her child. Each day, her anxiety grew, making it harder to get her ducks in a row and do the prep work necessary to show up strong in court. She was stuck in a debilitating fear feedback loop. Before she could be at all productive, we had to calm her nervous system.
Somatic Movement to Calm the Nervous System
The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook reminds us that "The human body is designed for movement, so we need to remain physically active if we want to keep our life in balance." But if overwhelming emotions have hijacked your brain, it can feel impossible to breathe, let alone hop on the bike for a ten-mile ride.
My client couldn’t "set aside the fear of losing her child," so we worked to create a movement practice that would help her cultivate calm while also being incredibly afraid. I asked her to start by taking a five-minute movement break. In the beginning, five minutes was all she believed she could spare.
Over time, however, those short time-outs turned into extensive walks. The simple movement alleviated tension and shifted pent up energy out of her body. After walking, she was better able to cope with her intense fear and tackle the mountains of legal paperwork with a clear mind.
Somatic Movement Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated
Remember, moving your body does not have to equal an hour on the Peloton or three days of Crossfit every week. The next time you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, try any of the following practices.
START SMALL: Movement breaks don’t have to be very long. Often, five minutes is all it takes to reset your nervous system and shift your perspective. Start with the time you have and build from there.
TAKE A BREAK: Breath is movement. When you inhale, your lungs expand, oxygen floods your body, and your heart rate normalizes. When you are deeply triggered, breathing is the fastest way back to balance.
CHANGE YOUR SPACE: If your environment is suffocating, stand up and take two steps to the side. Your body will recognize the change in orientation, and often, that's all you need to calm down and gain perspective.
GO FOR A WALK: Whenever you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, get outside – preferably in nature (more on that in my next post) and walk for five to ten minutes.
ENGAGE IN SELF-CARE: A hot bath or shower might not seem like “movement,” but any deeply sensory experience will allow you to become aware of your body’s immediate needs so that you can attend to them.
Happily, my client won her court battle and retained custody of her child. She made her way through that difficult emotional moment by connecting deeply to her body. In the process, she learned how to be with her fear without drowning in it.
If you're curious about how somatics practices can help you stay calm, cool, and collected during challenging times, schedule a call today.
First published Oct 12, 2020
