Do you even want that promotion?
For many organizations, the next promotion cycle is right around the corner, and employees are in the final push to show how they've grown and what they've contributed over the last twelve to twenty-four months. If you're expecting a new position, now is a great time to take stock of what you like about your current job and what you'd like to bring with you into your next role.
Why We Say Yes to Promotions That We Might Not Want
When I was growing up in corporate, I learned that promotions were always a good thing. You never turned one down, and once you'd accepted, there was no going back. No one was ever encouraged to pause and ask themselves, "Will this new position make me happy?" And that's because we all fell victim to the belief that promotions are the only true indicator of career achievement. These days, that belief has intensified to the point that many people fear they’re doing something wrong if they’re not promoted every one to two years.
Promotions provide status and ego boosts, along with pay increases and new titles. Therefore, it's incredibly challenging to decline them and take a different path. We worry about letting our managers down, or that others will see us as failures. We forget that our careers are long and that delaying one promotion likely won’t have much of a long-term effect. We also worry that if we accept a promotion and decide, after some time, that we want to do something different, or return to some of the duties from an earlier position, we’ll likely have to start over somewhere or do something else.
Towards the end of my tenure at Google, I accepted a new position that I believed I absolutely wanted. I knew there were aspects of the job that didn’t appeal to me but I turned a blind eye to those. I’d worked my butt off to get that promotion and if it didn’t happen, I was going to feel like a total failure. So, when the offer came, I took it without a second thought. It wasn’t long before I realized that the new position wasn't going to make me happy.
When we never step out of the rat race to take stock of whether our job is fulfilling, we allow external factors to dictate our career decisions, and that's a recipe for dissatisfaction and burnout.
How Do You Know if You Want the Promotion?
Before you accept any new job, get a picture of what daily life will look like once you've made the change. Shadow the role and ask questions. Are you expected to be in back-to-back meetings every day of the week? Will you have to travel the world 24/7? What are your favorite aspects of your current job that you'd like to take with you?
Once you've gotten some basic questions answered, go to someone who knows you well and ask them if they think the job is a good fit. Now is not the time to go to your mother or your best friend. You want to talk to someone – like a coach or a mentor – who knows you well but can be neutral. Describe the new position to them, let them know your feelings, and then ask for honest feedback. They may see red flags – or potential benefits – that you can't.
Lastly, listen to your body. Pay attention to signs of physical stress. Tight shoulders, a pit in your stomach, migraines, and IBS symptoms are all generally a good indication that something is off.
If you're unsure about whether or not a new position is right for you, ask yourself the following reflective questions:
What do I like about my current job? Will the new position allow me to continue doing similar work?
Do I need the money, or do I already make enough to maintain my lifestyle or support my family?
What reactions do I most fear from the people around me (managers, friends, family, colleagues) if I delay this promotion?
Do I know what my reasons are for delaying? If not, create a list of your reasons for wanting to stay in your current role and determine which ones you can share and with whom.
What do I want instead? What would make YOU truly happy?
Women tend to avoid saying no to promotions [or a better job offer] because we don't want to appear selfish, or disappoint the people around us. We also have this additional fear that we won’t be seen as tough, aggressive, or “good” enough to make it. But when we take the time to ask ourselves the above questions – and be truly honest about our answers – we can preempt any conflict that might arise by turning down a big opportunity.
You'd be surprised how people respond when you're honest about your feelings and offer some thoughtful reasons behind your decisions. If you have a strong relationship with your manager, trust me, she already knows that you might be feeling ambivalent. Be honest, tell her what you want, and, if it's in her power to do so, she'll probably help you get it.
If you're expecting a promotion and you aren't sure if taking it is the right move for you, I can help. Book a Call today, and let's talk about what you want to create in life and career.
First published Feb 4, 2020
