Say Yes to Your wildest dreams
In my last post, Say No and Let Go, I wrote about how saying no to the relationships, projects, and obligations that aren't serving us is one of the most common challenges that women face. We're so used to stepping into the care-giver, helper, and superwoman roles in all areas of our lives. We rarely pause to recalibrate and renegotiate when we've taken on too much. However, we must get comfortable saying no, if we want to dream big and set ourselves up for success in this new year and decade.
Get Clear on Your Desires
Let's assume that you're already a champion at saying no. You've done some reflecting, and you've already set boundaries around what you're willing to take on going forward. Congratulations! Your reward for doing this critical work is that you get some much-needed time back in your life. Now what?
For so long, I assumed that every woman I met had a big old dream list stashed away in her back pocket. It turns out that this is not the case! In fact, we rarely take the time to sit back and contemplate what we truly desire. So, first things first: I want you to make a giant list. When I say giant, I mean it. Don't hold back. Don't worry about whether you can afford to do what you want to do. Don't worry about whether or not you have the time to do it. I want you to make a big, bold, boasting list of your wildest desires.
If this is hard for you, you're in good company. We all have rules around what an "appropriate" desire should look like. If you're anything like me, your first shot at this list might be really restricted. For the longest time, I would only write something down if it was practical – Germans are good at this sort of thing! If this is a problem for you, start by checking your beliefs around what you're allowed to desire. Remember, nobody else is going to read this, and you can always come back to it and edit later.
Take Stock of All Areas of Your Life
At some point, you've probably come across a life balance wheel - coaches use them all of the time to help clients get a bird's eye view of how things are going in the most significant areas of their lives. While every life balance wheel looks a little different – I've created a mandala version that you can download here – they are a great tool to help you take stock of the areas in your life that are going well and the ones that could use some improvement.
RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS: When thinking about this area, ask yourself, "What kind of relationships do I want to have with my family, friends, and colleagues?" Think about how you're currently showing up and how you might like to do things differently.
RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF: Consider how often you put other people first. Do you make time for self-care? What obstacles are keeping you from showing up for yourself? What are some actions you'd like to take to support yourself more thoroughly?
FINANCES: Considering your financial situation is about more than knowing what's in your bank account, although that's important. Reflect on your beliefs around money - are you always worried about not having enough? Do you believe that money defines you? If you could change one thing about your financial situation, what would it be?
HEALTH / WELLBEING: If you're not getting enough sleep, eating right, and moving your body, all other areas of your life will be out of balance. Ask yourself where specifically you think you can improve this area. Do you need to make dietary changes? Go to bed an hour earlier each night? Go for a walk or put on your favorite song and dance like no one’s watching?
WORK / CAREER: Feeling connected to your work, your colleagues, and your company is so much more important than day-to-day tasks. If you're not engaged, that's a reliable indicator that something needs to change. Ask yourself if you really like what you're doing and be honest with your answer.
FUN / PLAY: We all have particular ideas about what it means to "play." For some people, play is about exercising their bodies; for others, it might take the form of a weekly Scrabble game. Ask yourself what fun means to you and how you can make more time for it in your life.
SPIRITUALITY: This area of life can take many different forms. Maybe you're someone who needs to attend church regularly to feel fulfilled, or perhaps you find your connection to spirit through time in nature. Ask yourself, "What gives my life meaning? What do I need to do to feel as though I'm in alignment with my true purpose?"
There’s a German phrase – schöpferisches Potenzial – that, loosely translated, means "to create or invent." However, the literal translation is closer to "to scoop or take from the source." I love this phrase because it reminds me that we already have exactly what we need to create a bold, beautiful life that aligns with our deepest desire. All it takes is the courage to take stock and dream big.
If you feel ready to make that giant list of desires but are struggling to get started, why not book a call today?
First published Jan 21, 2020
